I was only 15.

So I looked in an abandoned diary of mine, and found what's probably my favourite self composed poem to date...

Friday the 3rd of August, 2007.

Paranoia, don't break me.

Paranoia you took me over, tried blinding my heart for so long,

You closed my eyes and deepened my soul, paranoia, you're not that strong.

Triggering all emotion, you thought that I'd give in,

But paranoia you thought wrong, 'cause love is moving in.

Paranoia you took advantage, of my one and only obsession,

Paranoia you're not that smart, 'cause paranoia... I'm not your possession.

Paranoia I played your game, while others were trying to save me,

But deep down inside I'd pray to God, and plead, "Paranoia, don't break me".

Paranoia you'll always be there, this time I just won't let you take me,

You tore me apart but now I've healed...

Paranoia, I won't let you break me.

Love, Princess Rita x

First blog ever?

Wow, so I haven't done one of these since "MSN Spaces" were all the rage back when I was in Year 8 haha!

Today's been a shit day to say the least.

I mean, not really, it's just that a lot of feelings left unsaid came out today, which tends to happen a lot with me. I bottle things up and let them erupt in the most aggressive, nonsensical way... Well since the start of '09 anyway. I can't help it, when you're surrounded by the same shit day in, day out, little things just start to build up inside and become one massive bulge of pissed off. I need to get out of this house... seriously.

I miss people, I miss happy people. And I can't wait for my first ever day at Uni on Monday! O'Week I'M HEEEREEE AND IT'S ABOUT FRIGGEN TIME.

These holidays have dragged on for way too long mind you.

Oh, and just one other thing about Uni: Yes, I will be going to Ballarat Uni. Yes, it actually IS a good course thank you very much. No, I will not be moving there. Yes, I will be training it every.single.day. No, it doesn't take that fucking long to get to Ballarat when IN ACTUAL FACT, it takes longer for someone from this area to get to Clayton or Bundoora. So just a little advice to anyone who's for some unknown reason, questioning/criticising MY study choices: Shut the fuck up and make the most of your own career choices. I'm happy with mine so leave be.

THANKS.

Phewwwwwww I needed that.

Today I also exercised on the bike for the first time in God knows how long. It's a new Lent promise I'm trying :)

I need sunshine and rainbows and all things happy right now.

And for some reason I desperately want a puppy, they are such miracles.

Love, Princess Rita x